Dear Lily

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Dear Lily, your piece on ‘Transgender Erasing Lesbians’ is  drivel which you fail to reference properly.

Read here Dear Lily

View story at Medium.com

In the 80’s lesbians were often discriminated against by society particularly by our gay brothers, where clubs were predominately male only or a mixed venue in some seedy little backwater pub with a function room for a disco, so you see lesbians were already being erased by their male counterparts.

Through Gay Rights and the Aids epidemic that hit the gay community there was a softening stance that united us as we defended our right to love someone of the same sex and break away from heterosexual land to be accepted as part of the community along with  bi-sexual men and women and working girls alike and  transgender people (mainly male to female) were readily accepted.

Nothing has really changed the patriarchal notion that men are the dominant force and the Pink Pound has some considerable power. Many women who came out after trying to conform to heterosexual relationships had their children removed by courts as they were seen as unfit parents as they were deemed to be causing untold harm to all.

How do I know? I was one of them!

Many lesbians and gay men were placed in mental health institutions and some subjected to conversion therapy by their parents, or taken to a psychiatrist to cure them of their homosexuality. Many in the LGBT community have historically lived with mental health issues  and for the majority are not all connected to their identity. Mental health difficulties affects many in society and isn’t exclusive to the LGBT community or experiences they have had. A lot of it is societal pressures placed upon human beings as we now have an intolerable pace of life, with work and socio- economic factors taking their toll. This is misused and misquoted frequently.

If you were really lucky, the local vicar would drop around to talk to you about being confused about your attraction to the same sex; It was just a crush you would grow out of and you are going against God’s work regarding procreation to breathe new life into the world. Many did go on to lead straight lives. Psychiatric wards were full of these poor souls trapped in an unforgiving world, without acceptance and having to contend with barbaric Conversion Therapy.

These are the main reason our community has so many fucked up people.

The real issue is Self ID and the erasure of women’s hard fought rights, as sex is a protected characteristic for a reason, to stop our oppression which we are subject to under the patriarchal structure of society. No amount of fuck wittery can change sex or chromosomes, maybe in the future medical science will find a way to do that but it can’t be done just yet. Gender was constructed by the patriarchy to control women and women were trying get rid of the idea of gender. If this had been achieved, everyone could choose how they wanted to live, dress, behave and so on. You would not be restricted in any way. However patriarchy found a way of retaining the idea of gender because it was needed to control women; their idea was retain the gender stereotypes but to allow people to choose which one of several that they wanted to adopt.

In the end, a new generation of women decided to try to work with patriarchy rather than to overthrow it and embraced the idea that we have an innate gender, which suits patriarchy.

Nobody can tell us that society isn’t changing;  we can choose who we are attracted to or even want to sleep with but don’t expect women and lesbians to roll over when we are told we have no right to be angry, that women’s rights are not being erased, because they most definitely are!

Lesbians have every right to take direct action even at male dominated, corporate events such as Pride to show their anger as part of their democratic rights against that erasure even if it upsets others present, although that doesn’t excuse placards and incendiary statements from both sides of the debate which are abusive and divisive, it doesn’t!

One thing you cannot say with certainty is lesbian women, while being more supportive and accepting of the transgender community, which I believe they always were, is that they don’t have objections to a penis, they most definitely do; that’s why they are lesbians in the first place.

Where we will clash and no doubt be accused of bigotry is over your statements:

1)“The main point that gets thrown around is that trans women are really men, and so being attracted to women makes sense because we are really straight men. This is where the homophobic elements start to come in.” ie dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people

2)“In the recent study, Bisexual/Pansexual women scored most likely with approximately half of those asked happy to consider dating a trans person. Lesbians came in second with about a third happy to consider it. The study didn’t record by age groups but it’s fair to assume the percentages would be higher among young women, and additionally at universities.

The above study is important because it makes clear that a considerable amount of lesbians would date trans women; and implies that they feel this in no way takes away from their identity as gay women”

Now just hold that thought for a moment!  Bear with me.

Dating someone and sleeping with them are two different things and given you have failed to provide a reference to such material you quoted I consider it an invalid argument until you do. However I will address both.

Biologically men and women sleeping together is the ‘Norm’ which means women are sexually aroused and attracted to man and are quite happy to have penetrative sex with a penis.

Therefore the argument is,

1) if a transgender person still has a penis (not all do) and wants to sleep with a woman they are therefore in a straight relationship if I follow the logic correctly. The same applies  if the situation was reversed.

2)Bi sexual/Pansexual stated they would consider dating trans people, well why wouldn’t they as they will sleep with either sex.

Now the fundamental difference is Gay Men and Lesbian Women overall wouldn’t because they are happy with being the sex they are and attracted to that same sex. Generally they will only sleep with that same sex. That it is the person’s sex they are attracted to, not their gender.

Weasel words are being  played with in this debate, something I see regularly to push this ideology.

Who has the most to gain from this? MEN! They defend their patriarchal capitalist notions that they are a superior, dominant sex.

The questions nobody is asking :

  1. Who are primarily the – ones with most money and, defending trans rights and attacking biological women vehemently? MEN
  2. Who benefits from erasing women’s rights? MEN
  3. Who commits most violence against women and transgender women? MEN
  4. Who commits most sexual offences and rape? MEN
  5. Why isn’t the transgender lobby arguing for separate rights and facilities of their own ,without needing to enter women’s spaces?

I tell you why this backlash is happening, because women will not stand idly by and allow their rights to be  erased without a trace or fight. The debate is , riddled with misogyny, sexism and ageism aimed at putting biological women back in their places. Without women’s hard fought for rights you would not have what you have today, by the very women who gave you life to be able to express yourself so freely. If anyone should feel insulted it’s women who should be free to exercise their right to reject the penis.

Women do not hate Transgender women that is another lie, what they hate is the erosion of their sex based rights  being trumped by a small minority group.

http://eprints.uwe.ac.uk/11714/1/Clarke_JGLBTFS_SI_Man_not_included_JGLFS_Final_TBS.doc

http://web.comhem.se/u45381271/12/sem2/tasker99.pdf

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28130472

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/gay-conversion-therapy-what-is-it-lgbt-rights-christianity-mental-health-torture-electroshock-a8428321.html

https://real-feminist-history.com/2016/12/25/gender-critical-feminism/

 

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